Posted by
Glen Albrethsen on Friday, February 01, 2008 2:11:23 PM
Disclaimer: The following is strictly fictional. While based on some historical facts, I do not claim it to be true at all. I have not stumbled upon any inside information. It is just my attempt to make some sense of John McCain. I do not mean to offend anyone, and do not suggest that such a conversation would have taken place.
Fall, 1994.
Ronald Reagan, former president and beloved leader of the conservative movement calls Reagan Revolution foot soldier John McCain to the Reagan Ranch in Santa Barbara, California for a secret meeting that only he, McCain and Reagan's wife, Nancy, know about.
"Johnny," Reagan says, after an embrace and some pleasantries, "I've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's."
McCain, visibly shaken, is about to say something, but Reagan cuts him off. "It's okay, Johnny. I didn't call you hear to worry about me. I called you because I'm worried about the country."
In November, 1992, President Bill Clinton was elected. He took office in January of 1993, and by this time, a passel of left-wing policies have been trucked out, including the failing Hillary care debacle. Fortunately, by this time, the monstrous health care reform package has gone down to defeat.
"You're telling me," McCain mutters under his breath.
"Everything we fought for, everything we stood for," Reagan says, shaking his head, "Gone in a matter of a few years."
"I'm sorry, sir," McCain says, his eyes glistening, "We've been trying. We've got high hopes Newt's idea will bring us back. He and some others have got this Contract with America thing worked out. They're going to present it here soon, and..."
"Johnny, listen to me," Reagan says, placing a firm hand on McCain's shoulder, "We're going to need more than that, I'm afraid. I want you to run for President of the United States."
"What? Me?" McCain stammers, "I can't do that. What about the Keating Five?"
"Yes, Johnny, I know," Reagan says, "It was a mistake. You've learned from it, haven't you?"
"Yes, sir," McCain says.
"I'm not talking about the next election, anyway. Maybe 2000. Give people time to forget about Keating. Besides, Dole will want to take another crack at things, and you don't need to get in his way."
"No, sir," McCain says.
"Between you and me, even with a Republican Congress, Clinton's still going to get re-elected," Reagan says, "He's too much of a snake oil salesman. Lie through his teeth so much everyone starts to believe him."
"It's amazing, sir," McCain agrees.
"I'm going to be making an announcement about my condition soon, Johnny," Reagan says, "I wanted to get together with you and flesh out a plan before I started to lose my faculties completely."
"What plan?"
"How to win back the White House and establish conservatism forever."
"That's a tall order, sir," McCain says, "As you said, we weren't able to keep it going very long. How do you suggest we accomplish that?"
"The Republican party needs a bigger tent," Reagan says, "There's always been a moderate wing to it, and we've done a good job of creating a coalition of conservatives, but we need someway of convincing more people to come our way. That means liberals."
"What?" McCain exclaims, "Liberals? You're kidding, right, sir?"
"No, Johnny, I'm not," Reagan says. "This country has been leaning left for some time, and I'm afraid eight years of a course correction to the right wasn't enough. She continued to list to the left, even while I was in office. If we don't do something to get her hard right, and stay that way, government will completely control the lives of the American people, and we'll fall to Socialism and Communism as sure as the Soviets and Chinese did."
"But sir," McCain says, scratching his head, "how will bringing liberals into the Republican party help steer the country to the right at all, let alone permanently?"
Reagan smiles, that big infectious grin that makes his eyes twinkle. The whole room seems to brighten around him.
"Johnny-boy," he says, "You're going to beat the liberals at their own game."
"I don't follow you, sir."
"You need to start working with the liberals, Johnny, gain their trust. We've got a growing number of Independents, too--you need to get them to vote for you."
A look of worry crosses McCain's face. Has the Alzheimer's already struck his beloved mentor? "Are you alright, sir?"
"I haven't lost it, yet," Reagan says, smile evaporating. It's immediately replaced by his stern stare. "Try to keep up, boy."
"Yes, sir."
"You need to win over the liberals. You need to help sponsor or write some liberal legislation."
"Liberal legislation?"
"Yes. You might want to start with campaign finance reform. That will help people forget your Keating Five mistake."
"Yes, sir."
"And then, you might want to look at illegal immigration. Boy, do I regret signing that bill..."
"Yes, sir."
"And no doubt those environmental wackos will still be around. Try something to do with that, too."
"But, I..." McCain starts to protest.
"John," Reagan says firmly, "I'm counting on you to win them over. It's the only way we can save this country. Save it with conservatism."
"You want me to seem liberal, build relationships with people like, like Kennedy..." McCain's voice trails off as his eyes widen at the thought. "And then what?"
"You'll then be able to do the opposite of what I did. Win the White House from the outside in," Reagan says. "Start with the moderates, the Independents and all the liberals you can snag in the primaries, and then work to the right."
"I thought primaries were hard right, and then tack towards the center?"
"Yes, but the only way to destroy the liberal movement forever is to bring them into the party, get you elected, and then, hard right turn."
"You mean, if the liberals support me, and I become president, and then start pounding them with conservatism, and it starts working and the country is better for it, then all people everywhere will want to abandon their liberal tendencies forever?"
The smile returns to Reagan's face as he nods.
"That's quite a mission, sir."
"Yes, it is," Reagan says.
"I've already been working with John Kerry," McCain said.
"Yes, you have."
"And that upstart Feingold might be interested in helping with that campaign finance bill."
"That's the spirit."
"Who amongst the conservatives should I tell about this, "McCain says, "So they'll know what's going on?"
"No one," Reagan says. "No one can know."
"But, if I don't bring someone on board, they'll go after me..."
"Precisely."
"And...the liberals will love me even more," McCain exclaims, as the light goes off in his brain, "because all true conservatives will hate me!"
Reagan nods again.
"That's brilliant, sir."
Reagan shrugs. "You can do it, Johnny. I trust you."
McCain whistles, and starts to rub the back of his neck. "Rush is going to excoriate me."
"We can only hope," Reagan says, "We're going to need talk radio here, because you'll need to convince the liberal media, too."
"But aren't you afraid that this will divide the Republican party?" McCain says, "Us conservatives are a pretty principled people. My fellow conservatives won't stand for this."
"Well, rely on you war record, Johnny. That's always helped you in the past," Reagan offers.
"Yes, sir."
"Besides, conservatives first, my dear boy," Reagan says, "Republicans second. If the party has to split to save the country, so be it."
"Yes, sir," McCain says nodding. The full weight of Reagan's request starts to hit him. For a moment, he wonders if he's up to the task. Reagan, apparently sensing his doubts, squeezes his shoulder again.
"I can count on you to do this?" Reagan asks.
"Yes, sir, you can. I'll do it," McCain says.
"There's no one else I trust more than you, Johnny," Reagan says, "You've earned the trust of this country. I know you will not fail."
"No, sir."
"Well done," Reagan says, "Remember, no matter what, not a word."
"Yes, sir," McCain says.
The two shake hands, and embrace. They say their goodbyes, and McCain leaves.
As I said, this account is completely made up. But I tell you, if McCain isn't truly a liberal, there's not another logical explanation.